With Americans busy celebrating the 233rd birthday of the USA
this week, freedom of speech comes to mind. We Americans are big on speaking
freely, but the words we use are quite another matter. In fact, we are
becoming a nation of braying sheep, using the same words and phrases over
and over again. Benjamin Franklin, a wordsmith if there ever was one, would
have some issues with that.
"Issues." That is a drastically overused word that is being used
to avoid the proper word: "problems." He has "issues" sounds a lot better
than "the guy is dramatically screwed up." So, my friend, issues, not
problems, is the new polite.
"My friend." Is it just me, or does calling someone you just met
"my friend" sound a bit condescending? Friendship takes time and commitment.
I don't want somebody telling me I'm his or her friend. Alexander Hamilton,
who could be a mean guy, would understand, and if he were still alive, he
would give me a shout out.
"Shout out." That cliche comes from the hip-hop world, which has
done more to ruin the English language than Paris Hilton. But the rappers
have won this lexicon battle. Millions of Americans are now shouting out to
their friends and neighbors. What's next, Dick Cheney giving a "shout out"
to Don Rumsfeld? Could happen, and if it does, it will be Cheney's "bad."
"My bad." This may be the worst cliche to hit the country since
"groovy." Again, it comes from the hip-hop industry, where "they be
chillin'" over using actual phrases like "that was my fault." Why say four
words when you can say two and rhyme at the same time? "My bad, I'm mad."
Awesome.
"Awesome." Why? Why not "splendid"? Or "excellent"? Or "super"?
Sorry, we had "super" a few years ago, and it almost drove me to learn
Farsi. But, really, why awesome? Why is everybody saying that? And don't
tell me "it is what it is."
I hate that. "It is what it is." What does that mean? Should we
go around saying stuff like "hey, look at that alligator over there -- it is
what it is." I know that. I know what I'm seeing and hearing. I don't need
someone to tell me "that refrigerator is what it is." That is sooooo not
cool.
Sooooo. Pleeeease. Stooooop.
And cool. When Brando said it in the 1950s, it sounded good.
When Edd "Kookie" Byrnes said it on "77 Sunset Strip," it was in context.
When President Obama says it, I want to turn in my passport. Grown ups
should not be saying "cool" unless they are willing, like Brando, to ride
big motorcycles very fast. Then it's OK. You go, girl!"
Yikes. "You go, girl!" Another expression from the hood made
popular by Oprah and other TV people. Now all the girls are going. But
where? Where are the ladies heading? I don't know.
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